Here We Are Again

Hello there lovely readers!

I hope everything is going great for you guys!

Getting you New Year's resolutions completed or working on them? Or have you completely forgotten about them :P

Things have been crazy around here and downright chaotic...again. It's like I go into this lull and don't bother blogging because there's nothing that exciting going on or things go wild-n-crazy and I can't keep up with anything. Either way, blogging gets pushed to the back burner and I'm tired of having to write catch up post after catch up post...and I'm sure it's pretty boring for you as well.

For that, I apologize.

I'm going to do my best to keep up with everything and hopefully squeeze schedule it into my planner.

First things first, college.

I'm on my LAST semester of college!!! How freaking exciting is that?!

You will be mine!

I believe wholeheartedly that fate has decided that since it is my last semester it's going to be the most chaotic. I've only got 2 classes this semester, but my physiology class alone is like 80+ pages of reading a week, on top of the lab. Then I have a first aid/responding to emergencies class. And I have my NASM studying and such. Hold me.

Looking over my schedule with school, work, exercising, and trying to have some social life I've decided something has to go.

That thing is sleep.

Seriously though, this organized girl has gotta figure out how to make everything work.

Second, NASM.

It has been a bit of a read through, pray I've processed everything, and keep going. I'm almost through everything and once I'm done I'll go back through, review everything, note where I need to restudy and schedule my exam. Gulp. Mostly though, it's all stuff I've already known so it's not that difficult but man they make it so wordy (like this sentence is getting) that I feel like a 2 year old trying to go through medical school.

Soon I will be done and over with it though! And then I can do what I love!

Thirdly, my health.

Nothing too horrifying has happened so don't worry there!

But there have been some problems as of late that have cropped up again.

I've been excessively tired all the time no matter how much sleep I get and it means I've got something wrong with my system that needs to get checked out. Being overly tired has caused me to not want to do anything and it's made it really difficult to get through my day.

The main concern as of late has been my misconstrued thoughts on food. 90% of the time I am in pretty good control of my negative thoughts and don't overstress myself with "perfect" eating. However, the other 10% of the time has been a concern. I don't want to go into on this post since, hello, it's a book. But I'll have a post about this soon!

I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has stuck around during my absence and reads my posts. It's a big boost to know I'm not just writing to air but that someone is actually taking the time to read through what I write. So thanks!

The Other Side of the Coin

Hey there everyone!

I wanted to write a more serious post here about something that's been going on and wanted to share with all of you.

I've noticed (mostly) women talk about how they need to lose weight or they don't like how big x, y, z is, it's an extremely common trend and I mean hey, that's what my job is about- helping people lose weight and feel better about their bodies.
What I want to talk about today is the other side of the coin. The small group of women who struggle to gain weight. Because that's me.
I'm not touchy about my telling my weight because hey, what's the point? For the longest time I hovered around 120 and then awhile back I lost about 15 pounds when I got depressed and anorexic. Once I gained weight back I stuck around 115 and I did my best to stay there as a minimum weight.
Lately I started noticing something wasn't quite right and I stepped on the scale and I was 112, 3 pounds less than my minimum and veering towards underweight for my height.
That's when I noticed how skinny I had really gotten

I notice weight loss on my body a lot around my joints and collarbone. On a healthy weight my knees don't stick out so much, my arms are bigger than sticks, and my collarbone and shoulder don't stick out so much.

None of this is from starving myself intentionally, but I looked at my calorie count and I was eating about half of what I should be. It's not that I don't eat, it's that my stomach doesn't allow me to eat that much.
It's not uncommon in my family to have this. My grandma, my aunt, and my uncle all struggle to maintain a normal weight. I just happened to get those genes.

The issue I wanted to bring up is the comments I get from a lot of people about my size. I get a, "you're so lucky you're skinny" or "you need some meat on your bones," or "why are you complaining, people would kill for your body"
Lemme say this, as someone who is dangerously skinny, I know I am. You don't need to point it out, same as you don't need to point out someone is obese. We know.
And it's not like I don't try to to gain weight, I don't like being this skinny. I want muscle and muscle requires something besides skin and bones and I strive for that constantly the same way someone strives to lose weight. I can sum it up in 3 words..It's Not Easy.
Being this skinny is tough on my body. I can't do a lot of exercise or a lot of movement because I run out of steam extremely quickly. I'm always tired and I hurt a lot. 

A lot of nutrition programs and fitness articles focus on losing weight, which obviously isn't the case here. But I have yet to find one thing on gaining weight for someone who doesn't have an eating disorder. Despite the fact that I'm training to be a personal training and have nutrition knowledge and schooling, I have no clue what to do with my own body. Can you understand how upsetting and frustrating it is to not be able to take care of your own body despite having all the tools?

This isn't meant to be a rant, it's meant to bring awareness that sometimes you're "get some meat on your bones" comments aren't helpful and that you shouldn't judge someone just because of how they look. That person could be like me who can't gain weight no matter how hard they try or they may have lost a bunch of weight and are proud of the size they are.
Just don't judge.
Plain and simple.

WIAW: Phew

Holy cow where has the time gone?!

I feel like it was just last week and yet it should be March with how busy things have been.

I'm still working on how to grow a 3rd arm just to keep up with things.

Between learning everything at my job to preparing Michael to go back to Ohio for work to keeping up with NASM homework I'm running around like a chicken with no head.

And how did I spend Tuesday, a free day....

Doing something that wasn't on my Get This Done Now list

I pulled out all my food from my pantry and went through it all, tossing what we weren't using and figuring out what we did happen to have...like 4 bags of quinoa. Who needs 4 bags of quinoa?! 2 of which were half full I might add.

I did happen to get something wonderful in the mail

Now don't get too excited, I haven't taken my NASM test yet, but I do know people who were interested in me training them and I felt it would be more legit to actually get cards. So excited!

Now since this is a WIAW party, how bout some food yeah?

Thanks to the lovely Jenn for this fun mid-week party

 Breakfast:

1 egg 1 egg white scrambled

Sweet potato hash 

Apparently I didn't have a morning snack??

 Lunch:

Calamari Caesar salad

Afternoon snack (eaten at work):
KIND bar full of deliciousness

Dinner:
Michael made some delicious super grain fried rice (recipe by our host, Jenn)
and some hot and sweet tofu
Oh man was it spicy, but so freaking yummy. I'll post a recipe for it soon (hopefully)

Dessert:
Whole wheat banana bread made by my wonderful man

Seriously, how am I going to survive without Michael around to cook for me? ;)

It's also a miracle I even remembered what I ate or even to do this blog post, I can't remember most of what happened on Monday. 22 going on 102 I swear!

I'll try to get back in during the week for some new posts and recipes!
Have a great week everyone!

WIAW: First Day on the Job

Happy Wednesday everyone! 

Hope you all didn't have such a hard time going back to work after all the holidays.

I happened to actually start my new job this week! I'm work the front desk at a local gym and the owner wants to have me eventually do sales, teach a circuit class, and be a personal trainer. Cool huh?!

Now on to our food party hosted by the lovely Jenn and her cute like Mia...seriously, can't get over her pictures, she's so dang cute!

Breakfast:

Scramble with loads of veggies and greens

Vanilla chai

Snack #1:

Green smoothie

Lunch:

Whole wheat pita with roasted bell pepper hummus

My shift was right during lunch so I couldn't make a full lunch

Snack #2:

Cornbread

Dinner:

Lentil sloppy joes 

Green beans

Hope you're all having a wonderful week!

Let's Play a Game of...

Catch Up!

Holy Batman where has the time gone?! 

Last I checked it was finals, now it's past New Years and I haven't blogged in weeks!

Whoo boy do I have a lot to catch up on, but let's only focus on the important stuff as of late.

There was Christmas baking:

There was Christmas:

 Michael and I went to a church concert with Michael's family on Christmas Eve

And we went down to my grandma's for Christmas Day.

I'm so thankful she's still here

(also, if you're wondering who the fuzzy faced guy is, that would be my one of my big brothers)

The Saturday after Christmas we went back to my grandma's to meet up with my oldest brother, my sister-in-law, and my niece and nephew. I spent the whole time wrestling with the kids or talking and never got around to taking pictures.

We celebrated Michael's sister's and her boyfriend's 21st birthday (it's the same day, crazy)

I was DD

I got the flu the day after their birthday and am still suffering from lingering effects. Thankfully the high fever only lasted a day and a half, but the cough is killer. Michael and I spent New Year's Eve out at dinner with his parents (cold medicine for the win) and the rest of the night tucked into our hotel room. I didn't even stay up for midnight, Michael had to wake me up. I vaguely remembering mumbling Happy New Year, giving him a kiss, and passing right back out. Party animals right here.

We did go hiking the next day when I felt a little better

There have been Star Wars themed breakfasts

Cracking open pomegranates

Michael's grandma taught me how

And I started my new job at a local gym!!

I feel like I'm on this super fast train and I can't seem to catch a break. Hopefully I can catch up on blogging and staying on top of things...ha! like that'll happen.

Hope you all have a wonderful week!