A Jumbled Mess

Happy Leap Day!

I'm not going to write about how I haven't written in awhile because in all honesty, I haven't had much to write about. But lately I've had a bunch of things running around in my head and what better way to vent them out than through my blog? Now I'll say this before anyone starts saying I'm trying to be an attention whore with some of the things I write here, I'm not.

As much as I write about how well I eat and delicious, healthy food I make, I'm feeling at a loss on how I should feed my body. I've done food logs before and calculated out my daily calorie intake and I'm way way below what I should be and that's a major concern for me. I'm constantly tired, cranky, and hungry and I really don't want to be. I know my problem is I don't plan enough food in my day to keep me full and I know I'm not taking in as much protein as I should to keep my body going. I need to start really planning my meals and snacks with my nutrition in mind. Sure I know to eat lean chicken breast over a hamburger, but am I getting enough protein during the day? Am I eating too much fat? Keeping a healthy diet (I loathe this word, but I'll use it here) is really hard work and I'm starting to realize how insanely time consuming this can be.

As much as I love the gym, I have crazy anxiety there. I love going to Zumba class and have absolutely no problem with those days, but the days I go to the gym and just do free stuff terrifies me. Why? I feel like everyone else is way better than me and I'm not doing anything right. I see this women doing kettlebell workouts and lifting these crazy weights and I think to myself, "I want to do that," but I'm crazy terrified that I'll fail at it. That's always my biggest fear that I'll fail at something and it's really holding me back in the gym. I have this confidence that I put out that I know exactly what I'm doing and can do it perfectly, but I really don't. It's frustrating for me to feel held back at the gym because I want to do all this amazing stuff there and yet I'm clueless as to what to do. Thankfully I have a personal trainer now (more on this later) to help me get focused and teach me new things.

Well, now that everything is out there I can see what I need to fix and go about fixing it so I can stay healthy. If you stayed through all this, bravo to you!